(
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"It was in my mouth. But I managed to swallow before I spoke." - Ryan
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"I'm great from the waist, up." - Alesone
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"I don't know many pimps who wear argyle." - Davius
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Alesone: "Ian doesn't need to know about this."
Griffith: "Need is such a STRONG word..."
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"You are dead to me." - Donovan
"You're the Awkward Bush?" - ir
"You remain dead to me." - Donovan
"No, the Awkward Bush has a clam inside it." - Marion
"Even though I seem to have come back to life, I'm dead to you again?" - ir
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"You're playing with his danglies." - Jibril
"His danglies are more fun on you." - Alesone
"The leather dulls the vibrate." - Jibril, to Lillia
Suba: "Don't be sticking it in your eye."
Alesone: "But that's the best place to stick it."
"So, did you see my pumpkins?" - Lillia
"My hands were sore when I was done." - Lillia
"Do you want the apple, or the candy cannon, leetle girl?" - Mael Eoin
"Do you want to be the pretty pretty princess of the East? I can make you a battle tutu if you'd like." - Alesone
"You're betting on toddler fights?!!" - Alesone
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"Pascual, you nerfed the ghost." - Melchior
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"The panda extends, then toddles." - ir
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"It's not the money that drives me… it's the manipulation of their souls." - Caine
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Katya: "I'll be beading ribbon tonight and tomorrow for the kirtles."
Alesone: "… You are beading for kirtles. Not beading kittens."
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ir: "It's not a reservation, mind you, but they Have Been Warned."
Declan: "That is all we can ask. A warning."
ir: "AND LO, THE SKIES SHALL OPEN AND TADCASTER SHALL DECEND UPON YOU."
ir: "We're an area-of-effect."
Meryke: "Heh. 'I cast Tadcaster'."
"Tadcaster's not only a damage-over-time spell, it's a de-buff." - Berrick
"But... a de-buff of what stat?" - Griff
DeCastellan: "A de-buff of what?"
ir: "We figure Dignity."
"Violet – She Can Take A Hint." - ir, Vi
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"I am de-fisting my sheep." - Quotes from Pennsic XL
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"All it is, is someone looking away from the camera... and cat action." - ir
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"But 'pudding,' he's been known to say out loud." - ir
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"Would that make you a lolli-hussy, with your indiscriminate lolli-waggling?" - ir
"You have a ... narcosysliptic moose?" - Alesone
"So, I have Tad eyes. I misread 'Marshall Tucker Band' as 'Marshal Licker Band'." - Lillia
"So says the THL driving the bus of sunbeams." - Katya
"The G.A.T. [god-awful turkie] gave my plotter an aneurysm." - Berrick
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Muirenn: "So, you want to sling sh!t? Let's go, I've got an elephant and a trebuchet."
Declan: "It would take quite the trebuchet to fling a elephant. I would totally want to see that, though."
Muirenn: "No, it's a sh!t slinging contest... the elephant is for ammo."
Katya: "I did not give you any elephants, and as the elephant handler you have to have my permission before you start using them for any sort of battles."
Muirenn: "May I have? I only need one, and I promise he/she'll be perfectly safe…"
Katya: "… For the purpose of educating idiot people, you may have the company of one of the Tadcaster Elephants. Go forth and sling with joy!"
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"Declan, shove the meat in your mouth. All of it. Right now." - Davius
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"He's a mean mean kitten producing machine." - Melchior
"That sounds like personal information. I not sure how I feel about that..." - Bruni
Melchior: "Da da da daaaa.. It's double-O-Bruni! ... You're writing that down aren't you?"
Alesone: "Hellooooooo, quotes page!"
"When even two or more of them are gathered in your name... You have Taaaaaads. You have Tads." - Alesone
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Declan: "So, you're randomly picking up hoohas, and putting them in your pouch?"
Alesone: "It's a pouch of hooha holding."
Katya: "I would be afraid of a hooha pouch."
Alesone: "Not a hooha pouch, a pouch of hooha holding. Big difference."
Katya: "Still afraid."
"He started talking about people's boxes. I don't talk about my box in public." - Katya
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"I don't have nearly the aesthetic sense, nor the style or culture, to be a fop." - Lissa
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Jibril: "Quyn, when do you want to do it?"
Collin [stopped in his tracks]: “Ooooh, I’m a telling Lillia."
Jibril: "I'm not asking for myself. This is for Her Excellency Bhakail."
Collin: "Not really helping."
Jibril, as heard by Collin: "Our job at War is to make you a whore."
What Jibril actually said: "Our job at War is to make you bored."
Collin: "Are you talking to His Excellency or the lady?"
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"Alright, Spy Kid, I have a job for you if you are willing to take it." - Katya
Alesone: "Cool]nd aeswpomm. Iy wl nr you qjf liss.."
Carla: "So about those drugs…"
Avi [reading the back of a trailer on the highway]: "Horses. Cool."
Anna: "It could be ducks. It only says 'horses'."
"Lissa, you have to stop saying what you're thinking. I think the same things, but I know better then to say them." - Aine
"That's Lady Gaga. She has a set of hanh-hanhs." - a diner waitress
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"We're TADCASTER. We can euphemize anything." - Lillia
"However, if you ever say you're going to go 'have sex', we'll assume you're going behind the dumpster to shoot heroin." - Lorenzo
Alesone: "It has visuals. It is best told in the oral tradition."
Lillia: "Aaand now we have a new euphemism."
"The thing with doing laundry is that sometimes you end up just doing a quick load by hand." - Declan
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"I win at hitting people with swords." -ir, explaining his weekend to a mundane acquaintance
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"In the ear." - Sabine
Iacobo: "I was saying that in German heraldry, black was considered a 'metal'."
ir: "Well... only if they haven't been polishing the argent."
ir: "Your Excellency, what can Tadcaster do for you?"
Sabine: "No! No! Nothing involving a steampunk pizzle!"
"Now that we're done with the pizzle, I would like a moment with the ladies." - Sabine
"I was like, the chair has a handle, I'm good." - Alesone
"It wouldn't be good salad. It would be all wilted... and bitter." - Aleone
Lissa: "How often are we speaking of dildos?"
Alesone: "Apparently often enough."
Davius: "Now, is that with an 'oe', or just an 'oh'"?
"It's definitely a meaty noodle." - Siobhan
Alesone: "Ooh. It is a meaty... mmmm."
Lissa: "Do you want another?"
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"I'm Collin! Harsh is my middle name!" - Collin
"She wants to be crazy in her own right." - DeCastellan
"At least with your own crazy, you know were you're going." - Jibril
"Telegraphing doesn't begin to describe that shot. I pony expressed that f'er!" - Griff
"He just wants to give you an eight-legged hug!" - Davius
Eldrich: "Is this how you show your love for something?"
Collin: "Yes, I rub it all over with a cup."
Kat: "I can attest to that."
"There's no innocent in this house or we would have raptured!" - Collin
"Women are slapping my ass. Why should I care?" - Merycke
Lillia: "Could you sound more like a girl?"
Griff: "Yes, yes I could."
"It's sad when you have to lick icing off of your own boob." - Lillia
"I have clearly not had enough sugar." - Alesone
unknown utterer: "He's a really short centaur. He must be a pony then."
Lillia: "I'd ride the Pierce Brosnan pony ride. I'd get in line for that any day!"
"It's like I'm there." - ir
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"I figure, if I'm going to potentially kill people with different sizing, glazes, and varnishes... the least I can do is kill them properly with toxic paints too." - Alesone
"Fibromyalgia, I choose you!" - ir
"If you wrap the third finger around the horn, it looks less like he's takin' a toke from a tuba."- Alesone
Bruni: "My power cord glows in the dark."
Katya: "Your power cord goes in the back?"
Meryke: "We cannot endorse Matt-on-Matt violence."
Alesone: "Yes. Yes we can."
"Talk to the hungry part." - Melchior
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"Emo-goth Lansknecht? What the heck do they fight with, pike and sorrow?" - Melchior
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"Sometimes cockblocking the cookie is a good thing." - Lissa
"If only I could quote that facial expression." - ir
"Tadcastrian post is reliable!" - Siobhan
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"Forsythia: it's little bushes of yellow death." - Alesone
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"Burned-out light bulb. That's why he has no hair - light bulbs don't have hair." - Izzy
"I want someone to shoot a singularity into your a**hole so that your big pudding head will get sucked in and blink out of existence." - Group reconstruction of an original quote by Marion
"Wait, there's another quote, it's related... not really, but there was an a**hole involved." - Kat
Marion: "He sucked his a**hole in and his legs went up. Look!"
Kat: "That's a strange marionette."
Marion:"It's an inverted Muppet."
"I just had to un-shevel my junk." - Ryan McWhyte
"While I have been known to say crazy stuff at random times... 'christmas trees @ staples' would not be it." - Alesone
Sterling: "Did we really let him join this list... all man... Helllooooo Don Ian!"
Bronwyn: "Can’t help it Sterling, someone gave him a Crescent, so he’s allowed to be here. Which brings me to: how did YOU get here?"
ir: "And should it worry me that Sterling refers to me as 'all man'?"
Bruni: "...and I know meat is your thing."
Alesone: "I <3 meat."
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Siobhan: "Did you say 'tits on a highway'?"
Alesone: "'Drunk on a highway'. Not tits."
Katya: "Her tits were drunk, too."
"Let me do the crackberries, then I'll show you the options." - Alesone
Alesone: "...but Konrad's waff is reversible."
Griff: "So, what you're saying is Konrad's waff is reversible?"
Alesone: "Yes, that's what I'm saying."
ir: "I'm not going out of my way to eat pork... but if some happens in front of me..."
Lillia: "'That bacon was asking for it'."
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"It was in my mouth, so I swallowed it. That's the rule." - Katya
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"So what you're saying, is your cake has a stick up its ass." - Alesone
"No matter what I do... it still comes out 'moist'." - Katya
"I eat your beads for breakfast and s#!t out trim." - Katya
"She doesn't get distracted by shiny. She gets distracted by lint." - Katya
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"Eventually you got the dagger into a place that made me quiver." - ir
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"I've been a cameraman for worse things." - Lorenzo
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"Yes. A flaccid penis-tree would be a non-rigid." - ir
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"I don't know what they do in other kingdoms, but your junk is never a substitute for someone's virtue." - Meryke
"Do not lick the scroll." - Lissa's Maunche scroll
"Eat it, it is puffy and full of meat. Just the way you like it." - Meatpuff, the talking pastry
"Not all blind people can't see." - Andre
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"Why is it my boobs keep erasing my to-do list?"- Alesone
"The interjection was in my eyeballs."- Alesone
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"I got boy-parts. Let's dance." - HRM Ulstead
"Wha... shi... motherf... oh HELL no." - Griff
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Katya: "I would dress my sausage better than that."
Alesone: "How would you dress your sausage?"
"She's like a bitter, hate-filled Swiss watch." - Femke
"Red flag - meet bull. Or are you snowflake-baiting?" - Femke
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"Well, I could go fence, or I could take my clothes off." - Anya
"I don't know a lot of dogs that do head first." - Anya
"Just because the Midrealm invasion phase one has been completed doesn't mean I'm evil. Jumping up and down clapping maniacally as I do it... well, that's a whole different kettle of fish." - Alesone
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"What, you're not going for the 'Tingleshanks'?" - ir
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Jane: "No twinking the strawberries?"
Alesone: "... No. No twinking the strawberries. [to Ian] You may not write that down."
ir: "The hell I won't."
"Please note: your application for a MELEE WITH TADCASTER has been denied for the following reasons..." - Melchior
"It's all pig in the end." - Alesone
Lillia: "Pig in the end? Is that kosher?"
ir: "Well, that's a good question. If you're not consuming it..."
"I want good vibrations." - Lissa
"If it's OK for Siobhan to do it, it's OK for everyone else to do it." - Kat
"It was iced provocatively." - Andre
"I'm all for the nipple tour!" - ir, Andre
Berrick: "Well, she has boobs..."
Andre: "So do you, but..."
"You are a nasty, nasty individual!" - Andre
Meryke: "Welcome back to the conversation."
Griff [in stage whisper]: "It's gone downhill."
Marion: "It never started on level ground!"
"Wait. How did Davius get in his back door?" - Kat
"Declan is a Katy Perry song." - Meryke
"If my penis could reach Estrella from Germany, I wouldn't need a job!" - Davius
"Did it get a site medallion?" - Alesone
Marion [entering the room]: "Ok: unfortunate conjoined twins."
Marion: "If your one class is on one end of campus, and your next one is at the other end..."
ir: "...there's gonna be drool."
"Ok, what if they were attached by one nipple?" - Kat
"Yes, worship my muffin-ness." - Genevra
"Because you're filled with awesome and win, you dumb s#!t!" - Alesone
"But I'm on the dog. Ha ha!" - Alesone
"It's called a 'clamblam'." - delbroc
"I'd rather you poured that over my head than into my mouth." - Eldrich
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"I may be a bear, but I still have breasts. And sometimes I like to tease people with them. Ask Meryke. And Siobhan." - Ysmay
"I need a knife. This is too big for my mouth." - Lillia
"I blame Tadcaster!!!" - Sabine
Lillia: "I'm an interloper. I'm from a breakaway republic."
Iacobo: "Tadcasterstan?!?"
Lillia: "Why is the bowl on your boobs? ... Oh my god, I just washed those bowls!"
Alesone: "Uh huh... Ysmay's involved isn't she?"
Lillia:"Yeah."
Alesone: "Boobs, bowls... gotta be Ysmay."
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"See, they're peasants and they're dancing again!" - Lissa
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Kat: "Is Pointy [Bruni] coming tonight?"
Berrick: "No."
ir: "Who's Pointy?"
Kat: " I don't... I don't know."
ir: "You just asked it! You said, 'Is Pointy coming tonight?'"
Kat: "Oh. It must be meeee!"
ir: "But... then you're not going to be here."
Lillia: "You have sexy puberty voice."
Meryke: "My mom [squeak] said she'd drive us to the mall!"
"Do you only listen to crappy country music, or do you listen to bluegrass, too?" - Meryke
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"Ohh, it makes me all tingly.... or maybe that was just the cool accents." - Lissa
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Katya: "If we need to wake up, we can just get a whiff of the coat."
Creature: "Wake Up and Smell The Coat!"
"Rampant bambies... sure. - Alesone
"You have to move to merge, honey. They don't just get out of your way." - Creature
"Puis-je emprunter votre cochon Guinée s'il vous plaît…" ["May I please borrow your Guinea pig?"] - Google-assisted Duncan
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"Who's bringing Marion a kiddie pool then? My crock pot is not big enough for bathing, and I am NOT cleaning butter chicken or kielbasa out of my bathtub…" - Genevra
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Istvan: "I used to try 'wappen' a lot."
ir: "But then, you found a girlfriend..."
"What? I'm honest in my fibbing." - Bruni
"Lillia is only a sometimes food." - Lillia
"Nommmm." - Alesone
"But what kind of food group is she?" - Marion
"I think she's like fruits and vegetables. You need five Lillias a day." - Alesone
"Five Lillias a day keep the doctor away?" - Istvan
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"Sometimes 'different' involves wax and a razor." - ir
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"With co-ed baconing…" - Jibril, as heard by Lillia
"You can't play with my stick." - Sterling
"With all due respect Your Majesties, this is not a democracy." - Phillip the Facetious
"Congratulations, Alesone! You have just become the EK website." - Countess of Bad Ideas
"I've never been screwed going through a drive-through." - Alesone
"And which Tad's turn was it to be hated this year?" - ir
Alesone: "I have pig. Want some?"
Saikahn: "I have Oreos. You can have pig and Oreos… mmmmm."
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"Got to get Dad to start drawing with thicker lines. 'No Dad, it needs to be thicker.' Hmmm... maybe I won't. There's no way I can't make that sound un-dirty." - Lillia
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"It's like entroubleant… usually the default position for blazoning me. It means 'drawn as if his cadets are up to something'." - ir
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"I'm sure it's the Mormons." - Carla
"It's a ... revelation relay station." - Meryke
"I want the book of Mass-Murdering Robot Haiku." - Meryke
"I'm gonna slow this conversation down a bit: you know what Japan has a lot of? Boats." - Griff
"The first generation of sea-faring robots was lost to scurvy." - Meryke
"Oh no, baby. You're gettin' it dry."- Meryke
"Stop it. Don't make me start quoting things." - Alesone
Carla: "The King's Champion has a cough."
ir: "Wow, it sounds so pathetic when you put it like that."
Alesone: "There's a whole pool of cute fencers to flirt with."
Julianna: "Let me just stick my toe in."
"It's gonna happen. You can only put up meager blockades to my advance." - Konrad
"I inspire marmalade moments." - Katya
"No, it was the Collin and pasties that made me cry." - Julianna
"I'm a 4 time money-winner in the shuck and release derby." - ir
"Now that I think about it, did I eff up the Mendel joke?" - Meryke
"It's Pandora's meat sack!" - Meryke
"Collin is a picker." - Larry
"Two fisted somoan eater." - Davius
"I'm eating elephants." - Alesone
"Does Davius have separation anxiety?" - Melchior
"You can trust me, I chafe."- ir
"Zombies never make it better." - Berrick
Collin: "You're out of the Pennsic closet?"
Alesone: "Yes. I am out of the Pennsic closet. Sharc took care of that the first year."
Katya: "What's a Pennsic closet?"
Alesone: "I don't know, but I'm out of it."
"Stop sniffing our samoans." -Julianna
"Don't listen to her... She's a dirty Manhattan whore."- Melchior
"We have named your GPS 'Damn Whore'... you're welcome."- Melchior
"Larry doesn't believe you. He wants evidence." - Katya
Davius' SUV: "How many old ladies have passed you?"
Julianna's van: "Many... 'cause we are not even in Hartford."
"Tell Collin, 'Do NOT go to Vermont'." - Raff
"It's the quotes page live, in 3G." - Alesone
"Stop distracting my driver, strumpet!" - Carla
Collin: "I saw his leg out of the corner of my eye... I had to squeeze it."
Griff: "Did he squeeze Andre?"
Alesone: "Melchior. Andre's afraid of Collin... he's in the other car."
"It's pink. It must be friendly, right?" - Lissa (passing the LUV Boutique and Golden Cabaret)
"We are at the hotel. Neener." - Carla
"Get my Cadet to carry my stuff inside, so my night-night clothes will warm up." - Collin
Collin: "We aren't stopping for peeage."
Melchior: "I don't see a problem. These windows roll down."
Alesone: "Cause that's what we need, Matt's action hanging out the window."
"Don't make me stick a cheese puff in your ear. 'Cause I will." - Alesone
"He had 3-foot tentacles behind him. Whoop! Whoop!" - Collin
"Suck it faster, Bruno." - Alesone
"Are you shot gunning... iced tea?"- Melchior
"Melchior is a premature withdrawer?" - Julianna
Alesone: "Smoking the baldric..."
Melchior: "That's why the jock strap is requirement too."
"Hurt me, little man who has withdrawal issues." - Collin
"I thought you guys would appreciate me wafting the ham-smell in the parking lot." - ir
"Friggin' ham-wafter." - ir, as everyone else in the car
"My name is Don Ian. So says Konrad." - Collin
"Now that the adrenalin and "omgthisissoawsomeiloveeveryone!" has worn off, I'm freakin' exhausted." - Michelle
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"I want a bulge, just not there." - Derek
"No, Sterling is too short for a pimp stick." - Katya
"Davius' boobs are untied in the back?" - ir
"I hit myself in the head with my own balls." - Alesone
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Katya: "My Laurel's going to have a heart attack-and immediately love you for making me do stuff."
Alesone: "I enable. That's what all of Don Ian's cadets do. I think it's a prerequisite."
Alesone: "Are we ferme la turning right? Or does it want us to take the Nancy Ross bridge?"
Bruni: "Who's Nancy, and when did they build that bridge?"
"No! I want nutrition food!" - Mina
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ir: "Melchior and Alesone live in Philadelphia. There is a winter storm warning in effect. If it begins snowing at 6pm, and continues to snow at a rate of 1.25 inches per hour, how much butter chicken will they consume?"
Melchior: "Two serving's worth!"
"Actually, it would be one and a quarter with a remainder of three." - Alesone
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"Griff's gonna be a pretty pretty princess?" - Lillia
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Melchior: "Otter on fire! Otter on fire!"
Alesone (as Kari): "Have you ever seen an otter on fire, Mr. Dicker?"
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"Yes, Chef. No, Chef. Are you out of your mind, Chef?" - Katya
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