(
)
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"I never accidentally swallow." - Siobhan
"She realized as it came out of her mouth that it was worse than she thought." - Collin, Kat
ir: "Why are you stroking my leg?"
Siobhan: "It had a weird texture, I needed to feel it."
"I don't know, just gimme something strong enough to get this taste outta my mouth!" - Vi
"And... that'll take down an undead cowboy." - Berrick
"He has to take his shirt off to expose his nipple so he can see." - Collin
"It's gay, elven, zombie, cowboy gold." - Berrick
Collin: "Believe it or not, I have to get up at 6 am tomorrow for a cheerleading competition."
Marion: "I hope you do well."
"I like the gay elven vampire." - Lissa
"Cowbot? Maaaaaaaa. Oh wait... That's a goat." - Kat
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"Titcaster at Yule!" - Merycke
"I only use Überloob on my hotstick." - ir, as Bruno
"You brute." - Bruno, to Lissa
"You got stuck on the jelly stick." - Alesone
"Alright! Prepare yourselves, so you don't stabbed in the eye." - Lissa
Lissa: "It could almost be like I said that while I was fencing."
Siobhan: "You were forking."
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ir: "So. Note to self..."
Kovey: "DON'T PUT BUTTER IN YOUR POCKET. Especially if it's already kinda melted."
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"It's OK, Ian's big enough to share." - Lillia
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"Damn damn damn! Grr." - Kat
ir: "Dude, your macho points are dripping."
Merycke: "'S'OK, I have a napkin.'"
Kat: "I think I need more booze."
ir: "Did you say you needed more boobs? [waves at container of strange Japanese implant confections] We gotcha covered."
"Yeah, but fondant doesn't have chunks of ham in it." - Marion
"Except it says, 'Give it to kids and watch their thighs light up.'" - ir
"It's my worst jello-sliding-down-your-throat nightmare." - Siobhan
"Liquid Stirrup? No, that's something different." - Marion
"It's effervescent, like midgets fighting on my tongue." - Merycke
"That's gotta be the worst thing I've ever had in my mouth And for me to say that, that's sayin' something." - delbruc, referring to the "I dare you" drink of the evening, tequila-and-soy-sauce shots
"The junction of my legs is a gravity well." - Andre
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"Don't eat the toothpick." - Diner waitress
"Aaaaaaaaaah! Pecans!" - Merycke, as stoned kitchen help
"There you go again, with your field of porn." - ir
"No, that's a toothbrush." - Alesone
"No!!! She said don't eat that!" - ir
"Griff is a big, hairy woman." - Merycke
"But it's just mouth porn." - Vi
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"Caine is like a melee piñata. You beat him, then melee comes out." - Donovan
"All I got were 4 drinks and a pair of meat sticks." - Bruno
"Guys! You're f'in' Tadcaster! How can you be out without a GPS?" - Owen
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ir [watching Casino Royale]: "IZLAZ!"
Merycke: "Means 'fall down stairs.'"
Kat: "In this country, we say it 'izdrunk.'"
"I'll make it better! SLURP" - Kat, as James Bond
"This is gonna be great. [presses #9 on phone, bad thing happens to someone else]" - Griff, Berrick and Davius, as Agent Mathes
Kat: "You mean you can blow your own phone?"
ir: "Yes."
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"Guys, I think I need to introduce you to something I like to call 'girls.'" - Alan, to some over-zealous Trekkers
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"We're using the Tadcaster rhythm method." - Lillia
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Lillia: "If you say I'm Barb Wire, I'll kick your ass."
ir: "But... wouldn't that be a compliment on your rack?"
"There's a horde of Nazi velvet-touchers in the living room." - Duncan
Alesone: "You have to touch the torso."
ir: "Pay attention! She needs you to touch her velvet!"
Kep: "SCHNELL! SCHNELL!"
"Oh, schnell me, baby." - ir
"Please vote." - Lillia's boobs
"Storm me like a small European country!" - Merycke
Andre: "Don't tap the diaphram, it's loud."
Lillia: "Wh-what?"
"Boooooooooo, gay man!" - Griff
"It's all about the wheelchair sex, now." - Andre
ir: "SCHNELL! SCHNELL!"
Alesone: "AAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!"
Alesone: "Parries. Mine need a lot of love, because Carolingia only beleives in Four and Six."
Andre: "Carolingia only beleives in forward sex?"
ir: "Y'know... that makes a ton of sense."
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"If I listen to Griff, I'll lose my rant." - Griff, as Kovey
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"Dare you to lick the event horizon!" - Melchior
"I'm not sure where I wrote down that quotes aren't good unless they're written on a napkin." - ir
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"We always keep a secret... unless we're MAD! " - Merycke
"Fine motor skills and vibration... it just doesn't work." - Lissa
"Because if you're watching Nordic ice cream porn, you hafta have music. Otherwise it's just wrong." - Marion
"I have an upper-level and a lower-level virtue." - Lissa
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"A semy of "don't forget this, *sshole!" - Lillia
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"Why don't you love me?" - ir (quote for the day, all day)
"Hey guys, this lunch is really delicious." - Brendan, as Merycke
"But... mead makes good lube." - Siobhan
"Yes, I did dingle." - Brendan
"I'm not supposed to go numb down there. Takes all the fun out of it." - Vi
"I don't headbutt just anyone, I'm not that kind of girl." - Merycke, as Becca
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Meryke: "We have insufficient Tadcasters per meter to go inside."
ir:"... TPM?"
Meryke: "Yeah! TPM! [to Siobhan] It's a gravity thing."
"Yeah, zombies fall more gracefully than grouse, so he hunts them instead." - Melchior
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Lissa: "I do it to myself."
Table: [groan]
Berrickk: [facepalm]
Lissa: "What? What did I say? Oooh."
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"Tea and waffles... Sounds like breakfast." - Corinna
"Come closer, I need to reach your nipples." - Lissa
"No, in the woods, he's more a Sasquatch than a Wampa." - Andre
"You are the wood monkey. I am the monkey holder." - Andre
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"The floors are slippery, but my butt is not." - Molly
"It has a labia effect?" - Marion
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"Mmmm... smells like new virtue." - Quotes from Pennsic XXXVII
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Dr. Tiki: "I'd like to teabag a monkey."
Off-camera voice: "Well that makes two of us."
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"If I didn't know better, one might think you two didn't take interfenestral monkey pentration seriously." - Bucky Katt
"I eat before I pump." - Jane
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"I have to scratch you, you need to come." - Lissa
"Griff, stay away from my nipples." - Istvan
"Oh, God, his pants. Oh, man." - Lillia
"No, not really. We just had someone pass a lion." - Istvan
"Feel this. That's me. - Collin
"Garden Party Barbie and the Fresh Minty B*itches?" - ir
"But her breasts are bouyant, and they're only 30." - Izzy
"She would sleep with Istvan, with saffron?" - Bruni
"So grow them, ya lazy cow." - Izzy
"I have sticky money,and it didn't come from a g-string." - Izzy
Lillia: "What? We deflowered the East?"
Istvan [sheepishly]: "That was me. Sorry."
"I'm supposed to be helping cut stuff up with a knife in the morning." - Julianna
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"I was scared into ovulation!!!" - Izzy
Griff: "I may grope you, but keep my hands off the camera?"
Marion: "Correct. No, wait."
"Shall I lick her and see if she tastes good?" - Lissa
"Don't stroke it too much, it might not grow back!" - Diana
"Do not hit the Thomas. I will lick you in unpleasant ways." - delbroc
"You feed us pork, and crazy s$^& happens." - Meryke
"Mommy, is Daddy your Wesley?" - Meaghan
"This movie, it has pork in it!" - Lissa
"Excuse me while I pop this in my mouth." - Siobhan
"Are you singing Frosty the Yakuza?" - Marion
"Welcome to the Anne Frank suite." - Meryke
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"Honey? I'm not, but I'd like to be accustomed to this." - Griff, as Annys
"Do you know what that does to grout?" - Meryke
"I don't know if you said it, but you had it." - Griff
"B'donk... a donk." - ir
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"I'm good at service... to the kingdom too." - Bruni
"Yeah, I'm this close to being gay, so I get away with it." - Andre
"Lissa, if they do it to you, they have to do it to me first!" - Iseault
"I've been pulling head all day." - Lorenzo
"Oh look! It's the rapier's community's answer to Bevis and Butthead." - HRH Darius, about griff and colin
Collin: "Alain will hit on anything, even dead animals on the side of the road."
Kat: "Only if they're female."
"When he slaps you with it, its a spontaneous knighting." - Griff
Collin: "He'll be back in ten seconds, that's how long it will take."
Siobhan: "Will he need to get milk?"
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"Just consider me a fat ninja. You're not going to see me coming when I'm really doing it." - Collin
"It was cubically inappropriate." - ir
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"I didn't know my brain would have to do chin-ups." - Jane
"I lost a shirt once... no clue how that happened. I blame alcohol." - Bruni
"The problem isn't with your waist, it's with your boobs." - Molly, to Annys
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Collin: "Don't make come over there and spank you!"
Lissa: "I'd like to see you try."
Berrickk, to Collin: "Well, shoot. I can't stop you now, she said she'd like to see it."
"I have really big hands, and there's still room for both of yours." - Griff
Lissa: "Yay! Lillia goes up a size!"
Griff: "Honk!"
Lillia: "Ding!"
"Frenchie, the Decorative Frog." - Griff
"You don't want to show your dad your teal." - ir
"They do it because they care. Or at least, that's what I tell myself." - Lissa
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"Best emover evar." - delbroc
Griff: "Congratulations. You two have retained your whiteness."
Siobhan: "All I'm missing now is the overbite."
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"May-be it's already dead." - ir & Annys, in unison
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"We have found the pickle." - Annys
"If you haven't licked it yet, it's not yours." - Andre
"I totally need an Andre hotdog." - Andre
"You're now Andre. Grow a ponytail." - Davius
"I don't drink evil." - Andre
"Drinking for damage." - Corinna
"Yeah, we are so totally emo." - Bruni
Lillia: "Andre? No tattoos."
Bruno: "Unless it's a golden retriever on your left nipple."
"There's nothing like objectifcation to make the evening go faster." - Corinna
"Ah ha! It's a door!" - Andre
"Berrickk, your wife is doing REALLY well on drums." - Iseault
"It went mint, mint, chocolate, chocolate, STRAWBERRY!" - Thomas
Thomas [referring to old Irish Cream]: "No, it wasn't chunky at all."
Kat: "It was only microscopically chunky."
"Naughty Women's Day!" - Siobhan
"Tequila and I are friends." - Vi
"A straw? Awww, it's so happy." - Siobhan
"Drink your phallic drink, dammit!" - Marion
"My face is leaking." - Thomas
"As long as it doesn't turn into a hurlpedo." - Meryke
Marion: "Not liquid *ss?"
Meryke: "No, not even *ss adjacent."
"He's got Down's, but only on the inside." - Marion
"Shivaun is like a little drunk lemur." - Marion
Meryke: "...but when you wake up, you feel like, 'Ahh...'”
Kat: "...with a marriage license clutched in your fist..."
Thomas: "...saying, 'Who's Chuck?'”
"You can't properly blow something with fish lips." - Kat
"Drink up! Buckets for everybody!" - Marion
"Smells like a urinal cake." - Marion
"I'll take 'Things Not to Put in My Gooch' for $1,000, Alex.” - Meryke
"I've had worse things in my mouth than minty gooch." - Bruni
"You know, there are times when it's really bad to have a really good imagination." - Davius
"Albert Einstein's scrotum can bring a conversation to a screeching halt." - Group consensus
"Flying squirrel with an Altoid." - Meryke
"As euphemisms go that one didn't sound better." - Kat
"Our conversation is like the Yodeling dude on The Price Is Right." - Davius
"That's the ultimate double Houdini. TA DA!" - Thomas
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"The radar on that side of my head said, "Oh! There's tongue! THERE'S TONGUE!" - ir
"And oh! Does Lissa do it right. ... Hm. 'Sexually inappropriate comment about Lissa, not made by Griff.'" - ir
Davius' brother:"So...which one's Lissa?"
Davius: "B's wife."
Bruno: "The one in Vegas."
Davius' brother: "Oh, Vegas. That Lissa."
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"Oh, I get it. It's 'cause I'm Meridian, isn't it." - Davius
"Clench into it." - Lissa
Lorcan: "...and I haven't flamed in years."
Griff: "Um. Have you met you?"
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Collin: "I thought you said I had fruit in my beard."
Griff: "I don't know you, but you're closest... could you hit him?"
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"That sounds tasty." - Bruno
"Dude... you were so close to death just then. If that fry had fallen and gotten ketchup on Bruni..." - Meryke
"That sounds tasty." - Bruno
Melchior: "Basically, the toccata part is just to show off the big honkin' organ."
Everyone else: "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"That sounds tasty." - Bruno
"Fence, Forrest! Fence!" - Meryke
Griff: "Birthday honk!"
Lillia: "Hey!"
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"I'm a freakin' gift basket." - Lissa
"I think Bruni would agree you're a gift basket." - Althea
"I wanna go case of shorties, so I'm gonna bring out Berrickk and Meryke." - Lillia
"It's all fun and games until Annys brings out the F-bomb." - Lillia
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"Take a beating out of Petty Cash, would you?" - Grainne
"I'm hot and sweaty, hon. Let's go home." - Marion
"Put the knife down, it's been buttered." - Andre
"That's a good eyeball fork." - Melchior
"Table lemmings?" - Berrick
"There are hard lessons in life; grapefruit isn't one of them." - Meryke
"I have two words for you. The first one is 'keel.' I'll let you guess the second." - Griff
"Hey! I can use that for my mitre dance!" - ir
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"Syphilitic? Syphilitic third nipple?" - Griff
"I'm going to go handle my suck." - Jane
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"That's because I pee everywhere." - Lissa
"Doom. It's the new black." - Corinna
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"Your thoughts are going straight to my brain ... I don't understand, but it scares me." - Lissa, to Bruni
"The man is the chemical spill of the pepper world." - Melchior
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"I like dangly - wait." - Lillia
"I'm not sure I want to be a surrogate Griff." - Collin
"Precious Moments... I don't think they make a figurine for that." - Lissa
"I don't want full frontal fries!" - Lissa
"I want a bulging waffle." - What was heard
"Is that table sausage?" - Siobhan
"Hey! Watch where you're putting that nom nom nom." - Meryke
"Hey, it could be worse. We could have chronic narcissistic squint!" - Meryke
"He has future booze." - Lillia
"I learned how to say 'f-you' in sign language today!" - Siobhan
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"It's as if my brain's expecting the soft, doughy version of me." - ir
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"I'm gonna get the bottle now, aren't I?" - Lissa
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ir: [striking Captain Morgan pose] "My name is MORGAN!"
Melchior: "Excuse me while I invade Panama."
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"It's a pig. It'll have fat on it." - World Cafe waiter
Paul and Storm: "You all are totally lookin' at our *sses."
ir (to person in front of him): "I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for the serendipitous placement of your head."
Duncan:"I think you misunderstood when he said his claim to fame was that shirt – he didn't mean he bought it, he made it."
Rachel:"Ah. ... Oh!"
"I'd like to point out that we're getting married indoors." - Berrickk
"Ok. Underwear? Best. Song. EVAR." - ir
[Note: The Paul & Storm song in question is sung as if it were a
duet between Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello, accompanied by John
Popper - but the only word in the song is 'underwear.' It's made of
awesome in a completely childish way.]
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"I just need somthing to dry up my lickin'." - Becca
Molly: "I do girls, too."
ir: [Chokes]
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"It's two syllables: fuh - kehr." - Bruni
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"You have to understand, my whole life is just coming up with uses for drinking birds. ... I've never owned one." - Griff
"Your butter is a filthy whore diet truck?" - Bruno
"Apprently, she hasn't had sex with a Chinese man since high school." - Griff
"He takes the short camel to drum class." - Siobhan
"This tastes like a teamster." - Meryke
"Because all garbage stops with Bruno." - Collin
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"Tadcaster: We're years away from a vaccine." - deCastellan
"Tadcaster: There is no cure, so please, give generously." - Alexandre
"Prehensile boobs with teeth... bad..." - Alexandre
"I do not have prehensile boobs!" - Kat
"I'm already on the list of strange uses for ermine." - ir
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"No, those are Russian snipers. They won't hurt us." - Kovey
"Last time we played, I just got bored and quit. So you did win." - Kovey
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"For a '68 Shelby, I'd take a shot in the mouth." - Bruno
"While you're back there, could you see if you can find his self-esteem?" - Meryke
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"If I stand still, I get crop cricles." - Meryke
"It makes the burney less." - Lissa
"She's a little freak job, isn't she?" - Melchior
"Aaaand I'm going to pee on your car." - Meryke
"Psssht!" - Violet
Lissa: "You better give me that bowl!"
Collin: "Do you hear the demands from the hobbit?"
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[muffled] "I am texting you from inside a uterus." - Meryke
"'I'll be in my bunk, shanking the poor.'" - ir
"If there was a real fire, I would blow the f-ing window." - Bruni
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"Bow-chicka-bow-smush." - Lissa
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"I'd rather not so many of you feel me up!" - Quotes from K&Q Rapier
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"Ian, we learned something: you can't void water." - Lissa
"Theoretically, eventually I would feel bad about that." - ir
"Yes! They spitted and roasted an entire land tuna." - ir
"If you lick the bottom of the glass, I bet she'll marry you." - Collin
Collin: "I thought, 'She's gonna use a whole *box*? Boy, she's busy!'"
Bruni: "I was working."
"I've been massively double-dipping... but here!" - Lissa